(you can feel the excitement in the air!! relaxing music will now be provided) …and the Nominees are! the Wakefield Doctrine’s First Annual Post-writing Contest, Friday the 13th Edition

April 13, 2012 By 7 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

(Hey!  Alex!!  yo  can we borrow some music? )  CLICK ME

So everyone, try to sit back and relax. The secretly Appointed (secret) Judge is poring over ( as opposed to ‘pouring over’ ) (yum, yum!) each and every one of the Posts!
Every Judgmental tool and instrument is being brought to bear; no expense is being spared in this process.  We gots (your) participle accelerator, (your) tonsil and adverb extractors we have even arranged for a very special and private room just in case there are any (‘specially irregular verbs) that need privacy for a conjugated visit. Don’t anyone worry about nothin.

 

The Nominees for Writer of the best/funniest/cleverest/’how-cool-was-that? Post (using ‘a dead balloon is a dead ballon’ in the Title of) are:

 Progenitor roger
One of the original Progenitors, 1/3 of the namesake of ‘the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers’, (the) roger hails from a small end-urban area in a state often referred to as ‘South Central New England’. His rogerian credentials include: ability to play the 12 string guitar without sounding like 2 mandolins having sex, deliberately (and without having to be threatened with a side arm) engaging in the “Pastime” of Civil War Re-enacting and being heard at a formal Dinner Party to reply to the offer of a second serving, “No, thanks, I think I’ll surpass on that!”

db(2)+ 1.5 ml He = db(2) – 1.5 ml Co2 (a dead balloon is a dead balloon)

 

Jennifer Wilson
One of the first of the second generation of people to come to the Doctrine, read and understand it and not say to us, “…if any of you people even think about trying to contact me again, I will have a restraining Order on you faster than you can say, wtf!” Jennifer is sort of the Fay Wray of the Doctrine, particularly in the context of this blog. Being a scottian female, and writing her own little Post ( “…ha, ha, he said Post!”)  Jennifer has a way of presenting the Wakefield Doctrine that is accessible and readable and the rogers, are drawn to it like rabbits trying to swim out of the Great White Shark Exhibit in Sea World.

What does “a dead balloon is a dead balloon” have to do with Personality Types? Nothing.

 

DS#1
…you know how clarks can be overly-rational, too analytical and emotional-devoid giant brains with little feet and long fingers (to type with)? Well, that is why we are fortunate to have DS#1 ’round here. So a clark, yet with a kindness and humanity that says to all the clarks out there, “hey! you can become as welcomed by the scottian people and embraced into the herd anytime you want! Just learn what I know and you won’t even have to shave half of your damn head”

Through the looking glass where a dead balloon is ( really just ) a dead balloon somewhere over the edge.

 

clark

while, ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ the quality that gives life to the (non-dead) balloons is imperishable and therefore hold(s) out hope to all balloons’ 

 

Molly
Molly is, of course, one the ‘new generation’* of people here at the Doctrine and, as such, brings a certain perspective on our efforts that is quite crucial. In fact, this whole Post-writing Contest is kinda all her fault, lol she is the source of the semi-eponymous phrase that comprises the only requirement of  this first Annual Wakefield Doctrine Post-writing Contest!.

When a Dead Balloon is not just a Dead Balloon

So click on them links, Read the Posts then, (and this is very important), come back and Comment on your favorite Post.  The Contest remains open until 12:00 pm midnight.
If you would like to enter the Contest, send us an email to this blog (the Contact button’s on this page, somewhere) or write us a Comment, to the effect: “oh yeah? well read this, bunions!” and do not forget the actual phrase, ‘ a dead balloon is a  dead balloon’ must be in the Title.
Send in your link to your Post and you will be entered to Win! (Grand Prize will be awarded on the basis of Readers Comments and by the (secret) Judge’s decision.) The Winner will be announced on April 17th.

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150,3000 seconds left and the Countdown continues! the Wakefield Doctrine 3 personality types: who will succumb to the pressure first?

April 11, 2012 By 8 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

(Hello to all of our Hub Pages Friend! Glad you could stop by…yes, the Hub you read was correct, there is a big Contest and yes, you are totally welcome to enter to win a DVD! All the details to the contest have been explained in the last few Posts here, any questions? Don’t hesitate to ask us!)

Pressure? Did someone mention pressure?

“…In this context, the term ‘stress’ refers only to a stress with significant negative consequences, or distress in the terminology advocated by Hans Selye, rather than what he calls eustress, a stress whose consequences are helpful or otherwise positive.
Stress produces numerous symptoms which vary according to persons, situations, and severity. These can include physical health decline as well as depression. According to the St. Louis Psychologists and Counseling Information and Referral, the process of stress management is one of the keys to a happy and successful life in modern society. Although life provides numerous demands that can prove difficult to handle…

Many practical stress management techniques are available, some for use by health practitioners and others for self-help, which may help an individual to reduce stress, provide positive feelings of being in control of one’s life and promote general well-being.

The effectiveness of the different stress management techniques can be difficult to assess, as few of them have received signifcant attention from researchers. Consequently, the amount and quality of evidence for the various techniques varies widely. Some are accepted as effective treatments for use in psychotherapy, whilst others with less evidence favouring them are considered alternative therapies. Many professional organisations exist to promote and provide training in conventional or alternative therapies.”  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stress_management )

Well,  we know that the Wakefield Doctrine can and does address the question of stress and compensatory mechanisms as found in each of the three personality types. So lets just imagine a stressful life situation and see just how (each) of the three personality types will respond!

Situation:  you have  Post to write and 20 minutes in which to write it. You thought you could come up with a plausible/reasonably understandable scenario…you write the ‘set-up’ ….and…nothin!  Not a single life’s stressful situations comes to mind. You think to yourself ‘ok how about going to the doctors and waiting for biopsy results?’  and you immediately think, ‘ewww, this is supposed to be fun not awful‘ and then you think,  ”alright, then how about being in Court, waiting for the Judge to speak words that may change your life?” and your instinctual reaction is, “what, are you fuckin nuts? who the hell would find that scenario engaging?! this is supposed to be amusing and entertaining!” In desperation you look at the pretend clock on the screen and think to yourself, “what the hell, this is getting worse…more….stressful?  Aha!”

So given the above scenario, how would each of the three personality types of the Wakefield Doctrine respond, if confronted with this stressful situation?

clarks:

scotts:

rogers:

 

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‘How Many DownSprings does it take to Enter a simple Contest?’ ( and other FAQs) the Wakefield Doctrine ‘splains it all!

April 10, 2012 By 9 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

Well, Readers ….Contest Week is here at last! The First Post has (finally!) been submitted for consideration and we are ready for the rest of you Writers to send in your Writifcations!

There has been some confusion as to the Rules of our Post-writing Contest. Let us start by saying,  (that) these Rules and Requirements are meant to enhance your enjoyment, provide a certain consistency and still allow the widest range of artisculated expression. And seeing how,  Steve Jobs is still dead from his recent ‘actual death experience‘ it behooves us to provide you with the following guidance, in the form of the ubiquitous FAQs*

Q) I want to enter your Contest. Is there (are) any limits on how I format my Post. (for) (..the contest)?
 A) No. There are no limits on the length of the Post, they may be as long (or short) as you desire. The only limit is that no Entry written using WingDing type font will allowed.

Q) So I can write about naked animals or flying snakes?!
A) Yes, yes you can. ( In the upcoming biography, ‘Steven Jobs are you serious, this guy was such a roger‘ It is documented that Mr. Jobs secretly purchased Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch and planned to use it as a wildlife refuge for flying snakes)

Q) I have a Post written that is totally wonderful! How do I submit this wonderfully written, (‘what is that perfume you are wearing?’) to the Contest?
A) Good Question (..I’m not wearing any perfume ;} ) Use the Comment section at the bottom of this Post or send us a message at ‘the Facebook’ ( which, as few people know, was invented by Steven Jobs…the project, code named “Your Face and My Pancreas” was sidelined by Steve’s invention of the ‘pancake’).  We will take the link to your site and print the Title of your Post hyperlinked to your site.

Q) So, what you are saying is: you will send all the Readers of this Contest to my own blog?
A) Yes siree!

Q) Anything else I should know about Steve or your stupid Contest?
A) The One Requirement of the Contest is that the actual, written-out phrase:  ’a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ must be a part of the Title of the Post. ( as far as Steve goes we think he was better than da Vinci )

So send in your Entries. The Contest Post will appear on Friday the 13th and we will Post entries until 12 midnight (at night)! The Post will remain up until the (secret) Judge’s Final Decision on the 17th. Good luck! If you are a roger and would rather contact us at ‘the FaceBook’ go here  or  go here!

 

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*contrary to what many of the in-curably rogerian fans of apple and Jobs would have us believe the FAQ has been around well before Jobs invented the Computer ( which was right after he invented the bicycle, the waffle iron and the electrical nose hair remover). To support this contention we cite our friends at ‘the Wikipedia:

“…the FAQ format itself is quite old. For instance, Matthew Hopkins wrote The Discovery of Witches in 1647 as a list of questions and answers, introduced as “Certaine Queries answered”. Many old catechisms are in a question-and-answer (Q&A) format. Summa Theologica, written by Thomas Aquinas in the second half of the 13th century, is a series of common questions about Christianity to which he wrote a series of replies.” ( www.wikipedia.com )

Thats all I could find…

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Warning! this Post has value to the Writer, not the Reader….there’s nothing here to see, folks go read some old Wakefield Doctrine Posts this one is…

April 9, 2012 By 8 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

If you are still reading, the reason for and the explanation of the Title of today’s Post,  is that we have a Contest coming up at the end of this week, the Wakefield Doctrine Friday the 13th Post-writing Contest.
We are hoping to get a lot of entries (to the Contest).
We have a Grand Prize and we have a (secret) Judge. We will be Posting the Posts (lol) as links in Fridays’ Post. So when you come here this Friday the 13th, you will see Author Names and (the) titles of their submissions, and these Titles will be linked back to the Author’s website. Lots of good reading!
As to the criteria for judging the entries and awarding the Grand Prize? …you the Reader will have the opportunity to vote and Comment on each of the submitted Posts! …and we have a (secret) judge who will read all the Posts and all the Readers Comments and then, on April 17th will announce the Grandest of Winners!
That lucky life form will then sit by their mailbox/P.O.Box/or other preferred means of delivery and wait for the Prize to be delivered. We will all feel joy, for that person has been judged to be the Best of Us all! And as for the rest of us, non-Winners,  for once in our collectively self-involved lives, we will join with others in a positive emotion, pooling our good wishes for this Writer-Above-Writers! In a spasm of selflessness ( a sensation that some of us may feel for many years to come ), we will give of ourselves to this other person, the person who was chosen over us! Fun? Maybe! Difficult? Surely for all of us and especially difficult for a few us! Worth the effort? How can you ask that!? You will be part of something bigger than yourself, bigger than you and one other person, hell! …big as can be! So get to work!

So that concludes our Mandatory Monday Post!

(Hey, did I ever tell you the ‘Easter Egg Hunt from Hell’ story?  It is a tale of one clark, the adult world ( read: rogerian) and a contrived competition that totally sealed my personality type into that of a pre-dominant clark.)

Anyway, the year was 1958! (or maybe it was 1957) (it could even have been Easter of 1956) on Martha’s Vineyard.1 It was Easter Sunday. The Hunt was held in the Park and all the parents in the world brought their children to the Easter Egg Hunt. As we walked to the Starting Line, it was explained to me that.  ”…now clark, when they say go, you have to run and find all the hidden eggs that you can, before the other children do“. Fine, easy enough.
Until I saw the crowd… there had to be at least 3,000 people there, ( to my 5 year old mind ), the adults were all standing in a group, while their little children were standing in a roughly rectangular shaped group behind a bright pink ribbon, which was suspended between two Posts, about 30 feet apart. And beyond the ribbon was a clear expanse of grass of about 150 feet and then there were bushes and benches and fountains and other parklike features.

(blah, blah blah!!! )  Hey, you know we are talking about a clark, right?  and the group of adults and judges and the guy with the Starter Pistole? rogers!!  and the crowd of kids?…pretty much all rogers.
If you have been reading this blog and paying attention at all, you know what happens next…. as I am pushed by my family to get towards the front of the starting group, I am thinking desperately  ” OK…find the eggs… are they real eggs or are they candy…where would they hide them…. where would I hide them…I had better win this thing, they are all so excited….what is that guy telling all these kids??!  Did he say GO??!”  …and off I ran!
Got about 30 feet,  thinking, ‘boy,  am I ahead of everyone!’  then I looked back. At the kids. At the adults. At the un-broken pink ribbon.  They waited until I walked back to the Starting Line, the  Starter/Announcer guy did say good things about my enthusiasm.
When the Easter Egg Hunt gun went off for real, I walked, not slowly not too quickly, across the field to find the stupid hidden eggs.

Good news for modern clarks!   …for the Wakefield Doctrine Friday the 13th Post-writing Contest, there will be no starting gun, there will be no Pink Ribbon but there will be a day when all the Contestants will appear with their Posts. This will be Friday. Now if you want to enter early, that’s fine! We will simply hold your Post in a draft of the Post that will appear this Friday.
So send it in.
Remember!!! Only one Rule!!  The Title of your Post must have within it the phrase ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon’… that phrase can be at the beginning of the Title, the middle of the Title or even the end ( of the Title) but it must be there. Otherwise write whatever you feel like writing.

 

1)  Martha’s Vineyard is an island off Cape Cod, which in turn, is off the New England coast in the US. Considered a part of the State of Massachusetts, at least by the politicians, Martha’s Vineyard was a 45 minute ride on a Ferry from Woods Hole. It was an island in every sense of the word, geographically, geologically, demographically and most importantly, sociologically. There were people who were born on the Vineyard (yours truly) and there was everyone else. …and never the twain shall meet, as the old, somewhat confusing saying goes.

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What do you mean, “you have a good idea but haven’t started yet”? Countdown to the Wakefield Doctrine’s Friday the 13th Post-Writing Contest!

April 8, 2012 By 4 Comments

Hurry the hell up, write the thing and send in your best effort…no one will laugh! I personally guarantee it.1

So look around the house this morning, if there are no apostles or deities sitting at  your breakfast table, then why don’t you just send the kids out to play…do whatever you need to do to the Spouse/Significant Other2 and then get yourself some SABD3 and pick a fight with your blog4

Really, the thing about the Wakefield Doctrine (in general) and this blog (specifically), is that we are all here for the adventure, the entertainment, the challenge and even the self-development that has been a result of our efforts over the last 2 or 3 years that this blog has been on line. Granted the style of presentation is a bit…eclectic, eccentric and otherwise hard to figure out, but isn’t that the way it always goes?
When you look back on your life at the things you have done, all of the varied activities that fill your hours, weren’t most difficult to learn the basic skills? And only after getting past the ‘I don’t get how to do this! It’s not worth the trouble!” moment and committing to learning, then you found the real enjoyment that comes with practice. Hell, think about your friends, your wife/husband, girl/boy friends! I would be comfortable betting that if you remember the time before they became what they are, there were moments that you thought, ‘why the hell am I bothering? this person is a pain-in-ass, demanding and doesn’t make sense way too much‘.
So, yes we are saying that the Wakefield Doctrine is exactly like falling in love with your wife or your husband.  lol

But you’re here! So have some fun and enter the damn Contest!!

Rules Redux:

  • write a Post with the phrase  ’a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ in the Title
  • you can write about anything you want, you do not have to mention balloons or death or any possible qualities that they share in common
  • (if you are entering a Post-writing contest), then you probably have your own blog-like place,  send us a link to where your Post is published
  • write us an email or message us at ‘the FaceBook’ hell, you could even put it all in a Comment!
  • try to include something/anything about yourself that you want to see in the little ‘author blurb’ next to your Post
  • on Friday the 13th, we will do write a Post and it will  List the Titles and Authors (the Titles linked back to your site)
  • we will ask Readers to Comment and even vote!
  • the Winner will be announced on April 17th
  • the Winner will be picked based on the Comments of Readers (on April 13th) and be selected by the (secret) judge.5

All of us here at the Wakefield Doctrine extend to all of you there ( in the “real” world), best/appropriate wishes that the re-birth process that you choose to commemorate at this time of year comes true, at least one more time. However, we suggest that you make this the last year that you decide the symbolic re-birth of your favorite deity is the highest form of spiritual expression. Contrary to what many say, you are not immortal and you should not live your life as if you are, this will only lead to self-centeredness, short-sightedness and a lack of commitment to your acts as you go through your day.

And seeing that this is a time of celebration of re-birth and triumph over death, write us a Comment so that next Easter’s bonnet will have Wakefield Doctrine written on it! How cool will that be!

 

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1) I can say that because I am not only a clark, but I am also the Moderator of Comments here, so don’t worry…there will be no laughing at Contest Entries…

2) yes, including that look do you want to win this thing or not?

3) ask the Progenitor roger

4) totally love (that statement) attributed to Jack White when asked about his approach to song writing, “I just get a guitar and pick a fight with it”

5) the (secret) judge, may or may not be a Friend of the Doctrine but two things will be true: a) they will not be me and 2) they will not be a Contestant in the Contest. (hell, we might even have more than one of them)

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