…the Envelope, please!

April 16, 2012 By 17 Comments

(shhh, she cleared her voice let’s settle back and read… the Winner is about to be announced!)

Dear fellow Wakefield “Doctriners” ^_^

I believe that this was the toughest and funniest contest I had to ever judge – although it was a first for me. I can tell you this, each and every one of your entries has diverted me exceedingly and each in different, yet completing ways. So before I come to the point, I’d like to congratulate YOU ALL for the quality of your writing and review (big word here…not so much the point).

THE CRITERIA were these:

Good – Fun to read – Clever – ‘How cool was that’… as a (secret) judge I assigned stars (5 max) for each criteria. Then, you got “doctrine points” for each comment & like/Google Share your entry collected because the reader is king/queen and has the last word in my world ^_^.

Roger: db(2)+ 1.5 ml He = db(2) – 1.5 ml Co2 (a dead balloon is a dead balloon)

You wrote a very interesting piece that first brought question marks all around my head (you were not the only one having this effect on me though ^_^)… this is a good thing by the way. As I read on, your tone made me think of the main character in a book that I had just finished and liked a lot (“The History of Love” by Nicole Krauss). So I read with a smile on my face all along… I have looked in my own mind to find the file of my own “particularly fond childhood memories” but I do not think it is placed behind my left ear… I could not say since I have not found it entirely yet – just bits and pieces that I wish were as rich as yours. In short, I smiled – even laughed a bit, agreed with you most of the times as I related and wondered about life – longer than my daily dose… I loved the journey you took me on.

Jennifer: What does “a dead balloon is a dead balloon” have to do with Personality Types? Nothing.

You got me laughing just with your title, which is quite unusual with me. What’s with the fear of clowns? I never understood it! I don’t particularly like them either since they never made me laugh… hmm… well, okay… maybe I do get your point here ^_^. Your entry was filled with the type of humor I am very fond of, so thank you for that and for your great choice of music video as an illustration. I loved that concert by the way!

DS#1: Through the looking glass where a dead balloon is (really just) a dead balloon somewhere over the edge…

I am such a fan of Lewis Carroll’s stories… I was ecstatic when I read your title and read expectantly your entry. I was not disappointed at all… no surprise here… that is brilliant writing, the kind that keeps you on the edge yet not over it. You created vivid images in my mind and your story had dogs in it which got me melting from the start. Thank you for the wonderful reading! I enjoyed every second of it.

Clark: while, ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ the quality that gives life to the (non-dead) balloons is imperishable and therefore hold(s) out hope to all balloons’

Alright Clark… maybe you’ve got the award of the longest title in the history of writing contests ^_^. Your entry puzzled me in a very good way… which means that your intent of being both amusing and wry is reached, no question. Is information really the reality of Clarks? Yes… maybe, depending on how you define information… could philosophy be a type of information? I’d say that in my book at least it could be. I have to admit that I loved this sentence: “A ‘dead balloon’ is to a ‘live balloon’ as clarks are to scotts and rogers”… made me laugh for one and then think… “the space within and between permits life to exist”… interesting train of thought.

Molly: When a Dead Balloon is not just a Dead Balloon

Do you know how I react when I feel something bad or embarrassing is about to happen in a story? I fast forward to make sure that I am heading towards a good ending, and then I go back to the bit I could not read… your modern fairytale had such an impact on me, which is an extremely good thing. The quality of your writing and your storytelling blew my mind Molly. Beyond that, what you said was quite the message too…

The winner of the Doctrine’s First Annual Post-Writing Contest is:

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Our very own Downspring#1 with 28 Doctrine Points for her great

‘Through the looking glass where a dead balloon is (really just) a dead balloon somewhere over the edge…’

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

^_^

*
**
***

/Your Friend of the Doctrine & Secret Judge, Clairepeek

 

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‘How Many DownSprings does it take to Enter a simple Contest?’ ( and other FAQs) the Wakefield Doctrine ‘splains it all!

April 10, 2012 By 9 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

Well, Readers ….Contest Week is here at last! The First Post has (finally!) been submitted for consideration and we are ready for the rest of you Writers to send in your Writifcations!

There has been some confusion as to the Rules of our Post-writing Contest. Let us start by saying,  (that) these Rules and Requirements are meant to enhance your enjoyment, provide a certain consistency and still allow the widest range of artisculated expression. And seeing how,  Steve Jobs is still dead from his recent ‘actual death experience‘ it behooves us to provide you with the following guidance, in the form of the ubiquitous FAQs*

Q) I want to enter your Contest. Is there (are) any limits on how I format my Post. (for) (..the contest)?
 A) No. There are no limits on the length of the Post, they may be as long (or short) as you desire. The only limit is that no Entry written using WingDing type font will allowed.

Q) So I can write about naked animals or flying snakes?!
A) Yes, yes you can. ( In the upcoming biography, ‘Steven Jobs are you serious, this guy was such a roger‘ It is documented that Mr. Jobs secretly purchased Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch and planned to use it as a wildlife refuge for flying snakes)

Q) I have a Post written that is totally wonderful! How do I submit this wonderfully written, (‘what is that perfume you are wearing?’) to the Contest?
A) Good Question (..I’m not wearing any perfume ;} ) Use the Comment section at the bottom of this Post or send us a message at ‘the Facebook’ ( which, as few people know, was invented by Steven Jobs…the project, code named “Your Face and My Pancreas” was sidelined by Steve’s invention of the ‘pancake’).  We will take the link to your site and print the Title of your Post hyperlinked to your site.

Q) So, what you are saying is: you will send all the Readers of this Contest to my own blog?
A) Yes siree!

Q) Anything else I should know about Steve or your stupid Contest?
A) The One Requirement of the Contest is that the actual, written-out phrase:  ’a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ must be a part of the Title of the Post. ( as far as Steve goes we think he was better than da Vinci )

So send in your Entries. The Contest Post will appear on Friday the 13th and we will Post entries until 12 midnight (at night)! The Post will remain up until the (secret) Judge’s Final Decision on the 17th. Good luck! If you are a roger and would rather contact us at ‘the FaceBook’ go here  or  go here!

 

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*contrary to what many of the in-curably rogerian fans of apple and Jobs would have us believe the FAQ has been around well before Jobs invented the Computer ( which was right after he invented the bicycle, the waffle iron and the electrical nose hair remover). To support this contention we cite our friends at ‘the Wikipedia:

“…the FAQ format itself is quite old. For instance, Matthew Hopkins wrote The Discovery of Witches in 1647 as a list of questions and answers, introduced as “Certaine Queries answered”. Many old catechisms are in a question-and-answer (Q&A) format. Summa Theologica, written by Thomas Aquinas in the second half of the 13th century, is a series of common questions about Christianity to which he wrote a series of replies.” ( www.wikipedia.com )

Thats all I could find…

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Saturday and the Wakefield Doctrine a theory of personality you can sink your teeth into

April 7, 2012 By 2 Comments

 

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.
“Back in me pub in Glasgow,” brags the Scotsman, “fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free!”
“In me pub in London,” says the Englishman,”I pay fer two pint’s o’ Guiness and they give me a third one free!”
“That’s nuthin’” says the Irishman, “Im my pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free — and then they take you upstairs and you have sex for FREE!”
“Is that true?” asks the Scotsman. “Has that really happened to you?”
“Well, no,” says the Irishman, “but it happens to me sister all the time!”

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine!  This thing is so efficacious it’ll make you puke.  No, really!  the Wakefield Doctrine does everything those other personality type idiots claim to be able to do, except that this is the real deal. I wouldn’t lie to you.  Now those other  people who write these Posts, them guys say ‘you got to understand this, and you need to appreciate that…fuck that.  They’re right  and  it will work like they say, but that don’t mean nothin, if you don’t use it right and have fun, whats the point?. But… if you do use it right, you will have the edge on everyone around you right now and everyone you run into later on…unless you find someone who already knows about those Wakefield Doctrine people,  don’t worry about nothing, you won’t, cause they’re probably sitting in front of a computer somewhere indoors.

What the hell good is something if it doesn’t: a) get you more of what you want, b) let you take less of what you don’t want or c) get you laid? Huh? What!

I was such an ugly kid that when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

(Rodney Dangerfield)

But you better pay attention…this Doctrine thing is good, you need it and we have it…pretty simple, isn’t it?

Real quick:

  • you see people the way that you do, the way that they are  (for you…)
  • people see you the way that they have to see you, and that’s because of the way they are…
  • the trick is…you are both right
  • the Wakefield Doctrine lets you know how the other person thinks that the world works…maybe the same (as you) and maybe different
  • if you know how they think the world works that gives you an edge over them, ’cause they don’t know that there are other ways to see things…like the leopard can change his spots.
  • …and the best part is, chances are, they don’t know why you know what you know…they think you believe them!

So there ya go. The Wakefield Doctrine. good tool…fun thing to do and a whole world of people who will never see it coming.  Have fun!

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Thursday Morning, Wakefield Doctrine, one of the three personality types… it should all be self-explanatory

April 5, 2012 By 4 Comments

 

The Wakefield Doctrine here. Hello. Happy to see so many smiling faces on the other side of the screen! No, I can’t really see anyone out there, but I know that you are there, the glass keeps fogging up!  Must be the scotts getting themselves worked up over the thought of something new to chase.  Sorry to disappoint, nothing here to chase, but lots of news and insider information.
Did you know that the original scott, was and still is, an accomplished artist? He used to draw these cartoon things back when we were all in the college dorm. Well, he and the progenitor clark were in the college dorm, I was just visiting. Although eventually he, scott that is moved out of the dorm and we found a place to live for the band that he was in at the time. So long ago that all was.

Before you get any more involved with this Post, I need to tell you a secret. This Post is trying to ‘sound like’ it was written by a roger, but it’s that clark  up to another one of his tricks! So don’t be fooled. Or maybe you should pretend to be fooled and we can all see how far he is willing to go to push this jalopy farther down the road. So play along.

In any event, the original progenitors or better to say the original three friends whose names are used in the title of this personality theory by the numbers were real, living, breathing, sometimes shouting friends. You should have been there! Or there should be a way to go back and do a flashback episode of the beginnings of this theory of clarks, scotts and rogers. We would have to make a choice, if we were going to try that. Do you want to have like, black and white original-looking film clips? Like Ken Burns goes to RIC?  All jumpy and un-steady camera, edits that make no sense… scenes that hold way too long while a voice that sounds like a guy pretending to be Chip Monck  does the narration.  We could even have letters to home  no wait!   phone calls…it would have to be phone calls to each other because no one wrote letters in the 60′s and 70′s. Heck, in the 60′s and 70′s there were only pay phones in the dorm, in the drugstore and in those superman phones booths with the folding doors!  ( “hey, ralph broke down with all the equipment in the back! get your parents car we have to get this stuff out of here!”)

Or the other approach would be to do a modern version of the story with real actors and modern production techniques.  Nah, that wouldn’t work…so much of the story of the Wakefield Doctrine namesakes has to do with and is embedded in the mid 20th would never work. How do you convey the sense of groundless hope,  enthusiasm without restraints? mindless optimism and trust that you are on the right path for your life even when you don’t even know about the concept of ‘looking up ahead’?  the original scott? total energy, enthusiasm, talent, live now! the roger? confident, talented, able happy to to trust the future to what he believed he knew about the world, the clark in all this? running…running to stay ahead of something, running to get to something running because there was no world around him that made sense and he was trapped by the idea that it all was supposed to make sense.

Go figure.

(But the movie of clark and scott and roger go to college? totally like the idea)

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the Wakefield Doctrine, 3 personality types, self-improvement and the Latest News on the Post-Writing Contest

April 2, 2012 By 6 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine: ( ‘three ways to see yourself on the way to a better life‘ )

The Contest!  the Post Writing Contest, of course! The one where you write a Post with the phrase, ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ in the Title and if it is judged to be the best of all the Posts that are presented, you win a DVD of a very good movie.  You remember, now?  Well there has been a slight change to how we are going to proceed, or more accurately, how we will be presenting the Entries to you, the Readers. (This is quite important, as we are going to rely rather heavily on the Readers to Comment and vote for and generally indicate which of the Posts should be judged, DVD-worthy.)
At first we thought, ‘hey, lets have people send their Posts here and we’ll ‘re-print’ them here, at the Doctrine here. But then, as I talk to the others ( Claire and Mel and AKH and Molly ) the proper way to proceed becomes more apparent:  have the Contestants send in the links to their Posts (along with bio/author information) and present them on one Post with links to take the Readers to the… the reading places! Way makes sense! This approach is easier to present, one or two or three lines about the Author, and the Title of their Post ( all in hyper-link blue) and away we go!

That is the Latest! Enter your Posts and increase your chances of Winning significantly.

Other News:  working on the Occupations/Careers section of the book, need to be sure we are totally representative of the world of jobs, as we will be discussing which of the three personality types have an Aptitude for which Occupations.

Elementary School Teacher Forklift Operator Librarian Psychologist Physician
Lighthouse Keeper Clergy Farmer Commercial Fisherman Production Designer
Proof Reader Artist Museum Curator Janitor Waitress
Nurse Direct Sales Person Engineer Scientist Executive
Police Officer Fire Fighter Street Performer Panhandler Mime
General Contractor Surgeon Defense Attorney Butcher Lobster Fisherman
Rancher Accountant Dog Breeder Dog Trainer Chef
Waiter CEO Fast Food Service Real Estate Agent PR Aide

 

OK there is a partial list, anyone  with any suggestions or additions please feel free to do so.

 

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